|The 4th Infusion
Journal entry by Michael March — 3/31/2016
The 4th trip to Johns Hopkins is over. The 4th infusion of the treatment is over. As usual after these things, I am exhausted but over all I feel okay.
The HopDocs told us the tumors are a bit bigger, however they could increase in size during the initial part of the treatment, as a sign the treatment is working. Therefore, the news was "okay".
I also think the HopDocs are not quite sure how to deal with me. Today they kept telling me to "Do whatever you have ever wanted to do. Don't wait, now is not the time to hold back. Just live with the cancer, and don't let the cancer tell you how to live." I was reminded the treatments are not a cure, and I shouldn't worry with the numbers, that whole 6-12 months thing. Just live it up.
I really thought I have been doing that since about October 14, 2008. That was the day I was told I had cancer for the very first time. I have rarely had a day that I was not doing what I wanted to do. I think I don't come across sad enough to be dying. I should be more morose, more withdrawn, more something.
I will have plenty of time to be dead, and there will come that day when I break down, and become extremely sad. But whenever that day is, it is most certainly not today.
The appointments were exactly as I remembered them from two weeks ago. This time they took only 9 vials of blood, and my Research Nurse was on vacation, so her stand-in was there, and the four of us had a nice conversation about the Cancer and other things.
The damn CT Scans were a first time event today. I have had many CT Scans, PET Scans, MRIs and everything else since about 1989, but today was the first time I had two scans back to back, and drank two containers of contrast, then while on the table, was given even more contrast through the IV in my arm. I have never been through that.
The infusion went well, they were very busy today and once I got in, a bit earlier than my appointment, but just barely, the process was rather quick. A little more than 30 minutes and it was over. We were in the Jeep probably 45 minutes after the infusion started, and I was asleep within 15 minutes of hitting the Jeep.
Two hours later, or so, we were back home. I guess the take away from the events of today are pretty simple. I'm still dying, yet I am plainly quite alive and I should use my time to do things I have always wanted to do.
It was suggested I do what I have always done before, such as play paintball. So, as you can see, everything is okay for another 2 weeks. The only thing that can stop me now seems to be a Winchester Transit Bus
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